Month: May 2014

The Biggest March You Probably Never Heard About

Ten years ago, my partner, Mike, and I traveled to Washington, D.C., for the largest march in American history. But you probably never even heard about it. More than 1 million women and men marched on the Capitol in support … Read More

The Payoff for Being Afraid

photo by Mike Maxwell
“Adventure is not outside [wo]man; it is within.” ― George Eliot
(photo by Mike Maxwell)
Recently a friend asked me what the payoff is for my “Shame Shit Storms.”

This is a painful and somewhat embarrassing question to answer.

Here’s what I came up with . . . My shame allows me to:

  • stay safely in my comfort zone, which allows me to
  • avoid being seen, which allows me to
  • escape being hurt.

Looking at this list makes me uncomfortable. How can it be? I like seeing myself as a strong and capable woman, not a fragile and frightened little girl!

But in my heart I know staying in my comfort zone means I don’t have to take a stand — for myself, for others, for love. If I’m shamed back into my little corner, I can bypass doing my inner work. I can give in unchallenged to my defeating beliefs that I am lazy and worthless. That I am broken beyond repair.

Ultimately, I can avoid taking responsibility for myself and my life.

Which is pretty fucking ironic considering I am the FOUNDER of the Church of Personal RESPONSIBILITY!

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