Mom’s Latest Attempt at Tricking Me into Returning to Jesus

One of the things I admire most about Christians is their perseverance.

Their sheer dedication to spreading the word.

Their absolute and total commitment to converting the rest of us, regardless of how many times we say, “Been there. Done that. NO THANKS!”

Perhaps the queen in this regard is my own mother. Although it has been years since I left Christianity, my mother believes if she just does or says the RIGHT thing, she can finally convince me to return to the fold.

Mom’s prayer? “Lord, give the right words to grab Thea for you!!!”

And so, our relationship includes mysterious happenings, like:

  • religious booklets left in my car with sections highlighted
  • checks enclosed in birthday cards — both featuring biblical verses
  • Native American Mother Mary and Baby Jesus Christmas ornaments given as gifts during my “Great Spirit” phase

Perhaps the best attempt yet, though, is the most recent one.

Mike and I were visiting my parents last week, and on the first night, when we pulled back the bedcovers, this is what we found:

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